The Cabin in the Woods (2012) R

Well, after three years in the making, The Cabin in the Woods has finally been released! This movie, which was filmed in May of 2009 believe it or not, has been on my radar since summer of 2010. It was pushed and pushed so many times that I figured someone tossed the footage in a dumpster or a furnace. Alas, we finally got what we were promised: a "cabin in the woods" film like you've never seen before. And let me be the first to tell you, this is certainly a cabin in the woods film like you have never seen before.

But first a little background information on the project. As stated earlier, filming completed in May of 2009. It then was slated for a February, 2010 release. That was pushed back to January, 2011 because of MGM's (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer) financial difficulties and rumors of converging the film to 3D. When MGM filed for bankruptcy, they were forced to sell the film to the highest bidder. After about a year of that the film was finally sold to Lionsgate, who originally planned a Halloween, 2011 release. Well, that didn't happen as their was still work to be done on the film (especially in the editing and special/visual effects departments). So, for the fourth time they set a date: April 13th, 2012. And for the first time in nearly three years since its inception, The Cabin in the Woods was shown revealed to the whole world.

It's safe to say that critics absolutely fell in love with this twisted, entertaining and thrilling horror film. Whether or not actual audiences feel the same way, to me, is pointless. The majority of the time audiences wouldn't know a good film if it fell into their lap. That being said, this was a difficult film to market. Yes, it helps that Chris Hemsworth (Thor) is front and center, but the trailers and marketing had people yawning and saying things like, "Here we go again" and "Not another run-of-the-mill cabin horror film!" But we were promised something different; something fresh, new, daring, inventive and downright entertaining, shocking, brilliant, and so on and so forth. Needless to say, my expectations were extremely high, despite the three year delay.

Now for a little background information of the writers and director of this game-changing horror film. This is Drew Goddard's first attempt at directing. He's a well-respected writer; some of his works include Cloverfield and countless TV series' (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Alias, Lost). Goddard also co-wrote the script with Joss Whedon. Whedon is widely known as the writer/director of The Avengers (which is due on May 4th). But, like Goddard, he's best known for his writing on TV (Roseanne, Parenthood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and film (Toy Story, Alien: Resurrection, Titan A.E.).

Goddard and Whedon created one of the freshest, funniest, most thrilling, exciting and ingenious horror scripts in years; possibly decades. I'm going to do my very, very best to conceal the majority of the film as to not spoil the fun for you and your friends if you decide to take this journey. If you're like me, you've seen the trailers, a couple of pictures, some minor plot points about the film and that's fine. DO NOT go searching around for too much information about this film because it will ruin the experience! I knew enough going in to keep me interested and optimistic during the films opening twenty minutes.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

The film opens with two men (Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford) having a conversation in a complicated industrial facility. They appear to be technicians of some kind. It's apparent from the very start of the film that there's a peculiar comedic undertone. Sitterson (Jenkins) and Hadley (Whitford) discuss an operation that is taking place all over the globe, and how a lot is riding on this "operation."

We then cut to college students Dana (Kristen Connolly), Jules (Anna Hutchinson) and Curt (Hemsworth). They're chatting about college, sex and drugs. You know, the usual. Curt and Jules are dating. Curt is your typical college jock football player, Jules comes off a little slutty and stupid and Dana appears virgin-ish.

They meet up with Curt's buddy, Holden (Jesse Williams). Holden seems sophisticated, smart and sensitive. A perfect match for Dana! Then enters Marty (Fran Kranz); he's the stoner of the group. He shows up smoking a bong while driving, providing some probably much needed laughter in the theater. So, you have the jock, the whore, the virgin, the sensitive guy and the stoner. We've obviously seen this remedy before.

They now ride away in Curt's expensive RV towards his cousins secluded cabin in the woods. By this time it's obvious these five youngsters are headed towards impending death. Slowly, more and more information unravels about Sitterson and Hadley's secret operation. They're now joined by specialists Truman (Brian White) and Lin (Amy Acker). Truman seems skeptical about their operation, while Lin wants them to focus and stop goofing around. I refuse to give more information than that.

Curt and the gang are having trouble finding their location, as it doesn't appear on a map or the GPS. So, they stop to get gas at a run down, scary, old gas station. They eventually run into the station's owner (Tim De Zarn). He's a dirty, creepy, tobacco-spitting hermit possibly looking for a fight. He calls Jules a whore, gets made fun of by Marty and heads them in the right direction. De Zarn's character is a fun one, to say the least. You'll understand what I mean when you see the film.

Finally, they arrive at their destination! The cabin is in decent shape, but does come off a little eerie. They settle in and begin to drink their frosty beverages; or in Marty's case, get massively high. They eventually stumble upon a dark basement full of interesting artifacts that sets off a chain of deadly events. I'm very certain that this all sounds like a dozen horror films you've viewed before, and by golly, that's the point.

It's pretty evident the work that Sitterson and Hadley are doing is affecting the five college students. But to what extent? Just what exactly is going on in these woods? And what the hell is going on with all these technicians, engineers and electricians? Just what aren't we seeing?

I don't think I'm giving anything away by telling you that these kids are about to get terrorized, chased, stabbed, chocked, murdered, etc. And while some of it is very predictable (which is the point, afterall), the rest of it is shockingly unpredictable. It's all rather amazingly entertaining, exciting, spine-tingling fun. Goddard and Whedon's script is altogether hilarious, interesting, frightening and cliche-ridden fun.

Overall, the acting by the entire cast is pretty much pitch-perfect. Goddard always manages to keep your attention with witty dialogue and breathtaking sequences of violence. Who would've thought that the best performance of 2012 (so far) would come from Fran Kranz (The TV Set, Matchstick Men)? He's tremendously hilarious, yet fierce, when need be. Kranz' Marty starts the film as just another typical stoner dude who's going to be the first to die, much to your delight. But he grows on you, and Kranz delivers one of the better comedic horror performances in recent memory.

I thought unknowns Connolly, Williams and Hutchinson held their own, for what it's worth. Hemsworth (Thor, A Perfect Getaway) was a no-namer at the time, but it's neat seeing him in yet another darkly comedic role. Jenkins (Let Me In, Step Brothers) and Whitford (Billy Madison, Scent of a Woman) are both pretty funny. Jenkins is always a treat as he has become one of the better supporting actors available. And Whitford, possibly best known as "the business ethics guy" from Adam Sandler's Billy Madison, has a couple very funny lines.

I'm probably making this film sound like a comedy, which it's certainly not; though it is extremely funny in stretches. But it had my heart pounding, more importantly. My body was nearly shaking in anticipation of the terror that I knew was coming with about 25 minutes left in the film. You've been warned: the final 20 minutes of this film is simply bonkers, for lack of a better word. And I mean that in a good way. Maybe astonishingly outrageous is a better phrase.

The Cabin in the Woods has dozens of elements from previous horror films. One could argue that Goddard and Whedon are mocking the horror genre, or perhaps that they're paying tribute. I think they're doing plenty of both, myself. There are elements from The Evil Dead, Cabin Fever, The Hunger Games, The Matrix, Hatchet, Scream, The Ring, Hellraiser, The Truman Show, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Zombieland and dare I say Scooby Doo?

I could go on for hours about this film. It's horrific, graphic, exhilarating, generic, hilarious, genius, entertaining, thought-provoking and always on my mind as of late. The VERY end of the film is a slight disappointment in itself, and is the main reason keeping this film from an A+. But please don't let it ruin your evening, because, to me, this is one of the ten best horror films I've seen since the turn of the century.

This is a film made specifically for fans of the horror genre, like myself, who have grown a custom to the cliches that come with the territory. However, it's also a film for those of you who love to be entertained and aren't turned off by an axe to the head, a body torn in half or gallons of blood. If you're planning on seeing werewolves, aliens, zombies, clowns, giant snakes, demons, dragon-bats, unicorns, zombie redneck torture families, scarecrows, yetis, goblins, vampires, ghosts or mermen then you're probably going to be disappointed.
A